Comments on: A tragedy in Wisconsin

By: Kimberly Dutter

Kimberly Dutter — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:34:44 +0000

i just want people to know he had autism, yes he had the occasional seizure, and he couldn’t walk “right” and he couldn’t make full sentences, and he didn’t like to be in big crowds. but it was little things not alot of major things, compared to how he was 5 years ago, he learned so much. he was my little brother and he was the sweetest,and best brother a sister could ask for no matter how different he was. thank you everyone for caring so much.

By: Beth Finke

Beth Finke — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:36:25 +0000

We got that information from the story in the Wisconsin State Journal and I apologize if the information is incorrect. If you let me know what sort of disability Kyle had, I will correct it in the post. Thank you for responding to the Easter Seals autism blog and alerting us to this error.

By: Very close relative to Kyle

Very close relative to Kyle — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:47:12 +0000

Kyle did not have severe disabilities. Just to set the board straight. Please don’t print things you don’t know. He did everything we do from playing ball to trick or treating to having conversations.

By: Paul Adams

Paul Adams — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 19:22:26 +0000

To some of us, a sad story like this one might be confounding because we can’t begin to understand where a father was in his thoughts and feelings, or how he got there. To others, it’s sad and frightening–because we can understand better than we might want to.

My adult son has severe developmental and physical disabilities. I was not alone raising him by any stretch of the imagination–my wife, both of our families, our friends, terrific therapists and school professionals–they all provided tremendous support. And still, at times, I felt completely alone, inadequate to the responsibility, and hopeless.

At times I also felt faithless about the future–I just couldn’t imagine trusting my son to the world after I was gone. I’m sure all parents can feel that way, but I think it’s different when you know your child literally can’t make his or her own way. But again and again, wonderful people have showed me I can trust others to care for my son. For that I’m deeply grateful, but I also know that not everyone is as fortunate as I have been. I’m heartbroken for Kyle, his father, and his entire family.

For parents who find themselves feeling desperate, please, hang in there and have faith–however you come by it–people can and will surprise you in the very best ways.

By: Ree

Ree — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:42:58 +0000

This news is so hard to hear, especially when this is so close to home. More thankful than ever that my son has a loving father that cares for him. And for me.

By: Nicole Caldwell, M.Ed.

Nicole Caldwell, M.Ed. — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 13:45:01 +0000

I’ve been reading this blog for a long time, but have never left a comment. I was just so saddened by this news, and wanted to leave my condolances. I think we must be careful not to blame the tragedy on the child’s disability. It sounded like the family was experiencing other challenges as well, particularly financial, although we will probably never know the exact reasons why this happended. Perhaps there really aren’t any.

I hope cases like this will help as as a society to reach out to others more, particularly our neighbors. We also need to be less judgemental of families who have a child with a disability. I think this is particularly true of a child who has Autism, who may not look like he or she has a disability, but may have have some behavioral challenges.

I hope the next time we see a child having a meltdown in a store (even one who is “too old to act that way” or “should know better”), we will not give a dirty look or a parenting lecture, but instead reach out in compassion. Our children and students with Autism have a right to be in the community, and important life and social skills are taught there. We need to make our communities supportive and welcoming places for individuals of all abilities.

My heart goes out to Kyle and his family. I hope that any family who feels a similar desparation will reach out to organizations in your community…Easter Seals, local parent support groups, your church, your neighbors, and your family. There are also online support groups for almost every disability category. We are here for you!

Nicole Caldwell, M.Ed.

By: Patricia Wright

Patricia Wright — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:37:27 +0000

Bob – thanks for opening up an opportunity for discussion on this incredibly difficult topic. I certainly do not have words to describe the emotions I perceive this father must have been experiencing; certainly desperation is one that comes to mind. The lack of hope that this man felt for himself and for his son is unacceptable. Our society MUST convey the message and deliver the support that allows families the confidence that their child’s needs will be met.